The word cancer plays in my head, over and over and over. It consumes me and the fear that tends to follow.
My husband was diagnosed in August, 2019. Stage 3 they told us, non-operable.
We have kids, we have a dog, a pretty little house, and we even have a fence, not white, but a fence. We were lucky in love, so happy with our every day life, and we knew it!
I had dreamed of my prince charming as a little girl, the same way most little girls do. I wanted a handsome man with beautiful children, a dog or 2 with our own home.
He has given me all of it. We built a life together. We are building a life together. He is my most important person on Earth and I love him dearly.
When we were first told the diagnosis, we were put in touch with some oncologists very quickly. Scans followed, bloodwork, biopsies. A human pin cushion. Then the port placement, a celiac block.
Chemo began in late September that year and Kevin was not good. He wasnt eating, he wasnt sleeping, he was in pain and he certainly wasnt tolerating chemo well. It broke my heart into a million little pieces.
Telling our children was very very difficult. At 14 and 10, they understood what their minds would allow them to. Many tears, many questions, many "what ifs".
Our journey begins....